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Home / Local Writers / C_Posada / ¿Are you there? - [C:52] 
Are You There?
Some times I think you're so far away.
Some times you don't look at me.
Some times you talk like an echo.
Are you there tonight?
The darkness scare me.
Maybe you don't be there...
Tonight you don't be there
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Text added on 31-10-2005, 105 hits. (4 votes)
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Readers opinions: |
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2007-12-14 05:35:43 |
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Is that kind of mental abscence upon the one you love that thrills and terrifies you, you think the beloved one is thinking of someone else, amd you build a hell for yourself while the lover thinks, and thinks... With mind on distant shores... and you defiling on rent knees begging for him/her to come fucking back androlilith |
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2006-12-09 06:46:17 |
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Ready! Now yes I can vote here. It seems that those words come from your heart. They are sound very sad.
Muertelenta |
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2006-01-06 10:22:08 |
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I like the way you use rythm. Substitute "won't" for "don't" and your poem will be just fine. Keep on writing! walker |
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2005-11-16 15:46:18 |
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nice!** worlda |
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2005-11-04 19:13:06 |
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I am not here to correct you but to read and enjoy but if you would like me to help you correct the forms that need help on this poem, I would do it with pleasure. Note the use of "be" in the future. Your line "Maybe you don't be there..."
needs to be changed to "won't" if you want to write or use the language correctly. Hope I was of some help. mariposasiwapil |
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